No assholes allowed license plate signs

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DESCRIPTION: Not ten minutes No assholes allowed license plate signs by in my daily commute in New York City where some shit-head doesn't manage to be rude, obnoxious, abusive, overly aggressive or dangerously inattentive. Driving in this city has turned from a mere challenge into a garish video game with real and deadly consequences.

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Not ten minutes go by in my daily commute in New York City where some shit-head doesn't No assholes allowed license plate signs to be rude, obnoxious, abusive, overly aggressive or dangerously inattentive.

Driving in this city has No assholes allowed license plate signs from a mere challenge into a garish video game with real and deadly consequences. The following is a diary of just some of the encounters with people who close their car door and turn from mild- mannered Clark Kent into SuperAsshole, Emperor Anus. And there will be no pulling punches here.

Vehicle makes and models and license plates will be mentioned and drivers and passengers described whenever possible. If you can afford to be an asshole, you can afford to have your identity plastered on the Internet for all to see. Click on the camera icon to see pictures when available. Oh, and five parking summonses in a month? No assholes allowed license plate signs you really think they entitle you to abuse the rights of everyone around you just because you're in a hurry or because you're aggravated No assholes allowed license plate signs the parking ticket you got six hours ago?

And do you really think "professional courtesy" will help anyone when your driving gets someone hurt? You sir, for your unmitigated arrogance and for your assumption of authority that you do not in fact possess, are a disgrace to your uniform. January 18, Happy New Year! In the predictable stop'n'go of Queens' "Boulevard of Death" westbound service lane, this rude fool just couldn't stand the thought of letting me get in front of him at a lane merge, where everyone else was happily and courteously alternating access.

Naturally I stayed my ground, but he wasn't happy until regaining his "rightful" place in front of me, cutting off yet another motorist in the process. Then he stopped in front of me, got out of his car and approached me, and informed me that "[I] could get hurt" by taking pictures of assholes like himself.

Thanks for the advice, buddy! How often do you beat your wife? That's a pretty frightened look on her face in the first picture June 11, It's not like the year has lacked road-bound assholes, I've just been distracted.

But this obnoxious bitch from New Jersey in a Mercedes heading southbound on the Palisades Parkway must have been in some hurry, tailgating me with about five feet to spare at speeds that were already more than sufficiently super-legal. The most interesting part of this is that she's been performing this stunt for at least two miles, and yapping on her cell phone the entire time.

Tailgaters are a dime a dozen, but I grant this one an extra sphincter for flaunting New York State's handheld cell phone laws while simultaneously violating at least three other parts of the NYSVTL. June 27, I just don't learn. I foolishly used my signal for a lane change and sure enough, some twit in a Jeep NY registration VPH tried gassing it to close the gap.

Naturally I maintained my ground and this got him quite excited see the first two photos. I'm not sure how much time he thought he would save by cutting me off, given the whopping 45 minute delay crossing the Queensboro Bridge, but the moron was fighting for No assholes allowed license plate signs in the slow lane.

He figured this out after a few minutes, changed lanes three more times, also getting out of his Jeep briefly to menace me and threaten me over the photographs second two photosand he actually managed to save himself about forty-five seconds by the time we reached the bridge exit.

By the way, notice that NYPD sticker in his windshield. Either he's yet another NYC cop who's gotten way too full of himself, or has gotten too full of himself because he happens to know a cop. What a shame to disgrace the shield like that. Congrats either way, he gets a crunchy dingleberry for fighting over a lane he didn't even belong in. He pulled up behind us at 10am while my wife was driving, and started blipping his siren impatiently while we were stopped at a traffic light, nowhere to go.

After this shameless intimidation and abuse of power, as well as outright defiance of NY State Vehicle and Traffic Law, local ordinances and EPA noise pollution regulations, the light turned green and we pulled aside to let this little piggie go by.

As you can see by the pictures, this particular asshole was in a great hurry to attend an emergency chat with his buddies who were taking a break from the life-saving task of erecting a police booth, while casually leaving his truck blocking one of the busiest crosswalks in Queens.

For his sadly unsurprising abuse of authority, this asshole earns five puckers and is awarded a weeping 'roid. March 29, The pensive look on this asshole's face doesn't seem No assholes allowed license plate signs overshadow his stark reminder to me that in New York City, signalling a lane change is a sign of weakness.

It wouldn't have cost this asshole a solitary second of course, since my next move would be a turn out of his way entirely. March 10, Proving once again that New York City No assholes allowed license plate signs not have exclusive rights to Assholes, this fellow from Massachussetts also reminds us why "dealer demo" cars aren't necessarily great bargains. While darting from lane to lane, tailgating and flashing high-beams at everyone, jackrabbiting from light to light, this asshole couldn't even make good enough time to keep me from snapping a photo from in front of him after watching his reckless behavior for three miles of Queens Boulevard.

Meanwhile, I need to congratulate the rider of the Harley for resisting the urge to put a bullet through this asshole's forehead. December 16, The holiday traffic really brings out the best in people. In today's case, this SUV driver both reinforces the stereotype of most SUV drivers' obnoxious disregard for fellow motorists, and reminds us that New Yorkers aren't the only assholes No assholes allowed license plate signs the road.

In this case, the asshole couldn't stand to let me into the left lane for that left turn light ahead while we had both been merging from opposite directions of the prior cross-streetand he nearly took off my side view mirror defending "his" lane. Two assholes go to this Pennsylvianian putz, who could have and should have permitted an ordinary one-for-one merge of traffic.

In the end, his selfishness earned him no gain whatsoever. No assholes allowed license plate signs 13, Proving that wearing No assholes allowed license plate signs badge makes a person no less likely to be an asshole, this member of NYC's "elite" Highway Patrol couldn't be bothered to wait in traffic like everyone else at 9am, and merrily trundled along 34th street in midtown Manhattan, in the oncoming traffic lane!

Just remember that if your or I tried this stunt, he'd be kicking the shit out of us with his fag-bait jack boots. For the brilliant example this officer set in front of daily commuters and holiday shoppers, I give the pilot of motorcycle 58 one pucker and a weeping 'roid.

October 6, It took a long time to get my digital camera of choice and to keep it working for more than a week long storybut I'm now inaugurating my fancy new Nikon Coolpix on this cool autumn morning with yet another Livery Asshole. This Pakistani asshole cut me off twice on 34th street - once not bothering to look and the second time two blocks later No assholes allowed license plate signs but simply not caring.

Two blocks after that he made a right turn onto 10th Avenue from the far left lane of 34th, cutting off two trucks and a bus. April 7 While running lunchtime errands on my new motorcycle under the clear blue afternoon sky and light holiday traffic of the West Side Highway, an Afro-American male asshole in a light blue radio cab NY registration TC with a terrified Hispanic passenger decided that 2 feet was plenty of room between his front bumper and my rear wheel at 50MPH in the right lane.

Then frustrated after at least No assholes allowed license plate signs of waiting for me to magically disappear from in front of him, he passed me by straddling my lane and the No assholes allowed license plate signs lane and cutting close in front of me, then speeding off.

I'd have taken a picture if I weren't so afraid of getting punted from behind. February 24 No assholes allowed license plate signs distinguished "distended sphincter" award goes to another medallion taxicab today registration 2D92for tailgating and repeatedly honking and flashing his high-beams at me for two blocks in bumper to bumper traffic at 7: This asshole is the first sucker to be photographed by me, which brings me to an interesting aspect of photographs for Assholes At The Wheel.

The Camera is mightier than the sword! After I stopped in traffic and No assholes allowed license plate signs out of my car to snap this asshole's photograph, the cabbie suddenly wasn't in so much of a hurry any more. He stayed back at least ' and drove as sedate as my grandmother on a handful of Valium. February 9 Today would have been the first properly done entry in this log if I had been better prepared.

But the camera wasn't handy and I was too busy with evasive actions when a medallion taxicab was over the double yellow lines and completely in the lane of oncoming traffic - No assholes allowed license plate signs lane - doing 30mph on West 34th Street just east of 8th Avenue.

This yo-yo earns the Weeping Hemorrhoid award for his total disregard for the sanctity of the most important of all lane markings. Your turn signal is supposed to be a caution to nearby motorists of your intention to change lanes.

In practice, it is a signal for the motorist behind you in the adjacent lane to stomp on the accelerator and block your lane change so that your need to change lanes doesn't cost him or her that precious 1 second [ 1 ] that will make the obvious difference between their life and death how dare you!

Few aggressive assholes actually have the balls to close the gap enough to lock you out completely - about 15' or so. And if the asshole hits you in the back afterward, it's legally his fault! Make sure your car is towed and you check your neck and spine at the hospital.

Sue his ass off! Sue his mother for rearing a defective child! Do be careful not sideswipe the asshole, and not to tag the motorist that you're squeezing in behind. This seems to be a problem endemic to the United States and crowded city regions in particular. The left lane is for passingbut something seems to get lost in the translation.

Maybe it has to do with not needing to be able to read English to get a drivers license in the U. The result is that the left lane is full of distracted slow-paced motorists on cellular phones and eating Big Macs, while the right lanes are dangerously traversed by frustrated people trying to find the limits of their vehicle's speed and handling on their way to work or the detox center or whatever. If you're in the left lane and everyone is passing you on the right, move over dammit!

This is not rocket science - you No assholes allowed license plate signs not have to buy a vowel to figure this out.

Converselythe hurried masses seem to have this self- righteous indignance about posession of the left lane. Just remember that when an equally self-righteous motorist is in front of you and you act like an asshole by tailgating, it'll be your fault when he gets indignant and hits his brakes and you rear-end him.

Your vehicle's horn is supposed to be used to warn people of immediate life- or property- threatening danger. It says so right there in the drivers manualand that document is available in every language including braille so there are no excuses. Your horn is not to caution others that you're about to be a dangerous asshole because the traffic in front of you is not moving as fast as you would like.

Nor is your horn button meant to be beat upon like an angry infant hammering the bleating rubber squeaky horn of a Fisher-Price automobile dashboard. If some other No assholes allowed license plate signs is incognizant of your presence and you need him or her to move, a quick tap or two on the horn will get their attention.

Your horn is not a magical device that can alter the space-time continuum. Leaning on it will only earn you indignance from your fellow motorists. Don't be surprised when they slow down and block your path. And don't be surprised when your car gets pelted by eggs, used rubbers, spoilt spam or whatever else nearby apartment dwellers can hastily lob from their windows.

SUV's or " sport utility vehicles " are becoming more and more common. People who passed their driving test in a Toyota Tercel can get behind the wheel of a Lincoln Navigator with the only question asked being "will that be cash or credit card? This leads to a whole new category of drivers that used to be easily identifiable and thus avoidable because their vehicles were big and yellow and said "RYDER" on the side. These people think that "4WD" means " invincible ", don't give a thought to its inferior handling, and don't realize that you can't "touch-park" against nearby cars when your bumper height is No assholes allowed license plate signs by two feet.

SUV's are to be avoided in traffic with the same care that you use around rental trucks, any taxicab, women driving Mercedes', vehicles with diplomatic plates. Any self- respecting redneck read: Generally there's an inverse relationship between vehicle size or price and driver skillso treat Navigators and Suburbans with extra care.

Feel free to laugh hysterically at Suzukis but if you drag race them, stay on the inside of any curves. With SUV's, the danger does not stop once you're out of traffic. Parking anything near an SUV is taking a gamble with your vehicle and your odds are better at the craps table. If the only parking space available is next to an SUV, take down the license plate info before you leave your vehicle.

If you come back to hundreds or thousands of dollars worth of broken lamps, bent hood, trunk or quarter panel, you can track the asshole down for five dollars through your insurance broker or sheiste, er, lawyer.

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To the same extent we increasingly cluster here ideologically like-minded niches, our experiences with social media become more like main part video. Chances are, that week your friends had an opinion when U. And, more than expected, your friends didn't actually know what they were cheering or castigating, thanks to "issues" license plates are a ridiculous conceptual tinker with. You have probably seen a "Choose Life" allow plate before.

Over two dozen states offer them , and most property the same cloyingly shitty crayon drawing of a little boy and a little girl. They're meant to suggest that the plates were designed nearby children, so young so as to they haven't even had the misfortune of discovering talent yet. This is innocence unsullied; you'd possess to be some humane of monster to thirst to quash whatever sustenance drew this twee inadequately thing. But while it's perfectly reasonable to boon the license plate unpleasant because it's so godawful looking, the legal arguments against or for it get really complicated.

Inasmuch as instance, you or a friend might have railed against the plate's permanence as an abuse of government speech, with the government advocating one pose at the expense of many others. Unfortunately, that is how government factory. Acts of government are an advocacy of scheme in some way:

I actually have one on my car. The state of Vermont list of prohibited or banned personalized license plates, procedures for screening personalized license plate. It's A Girl License Plate. Email to a Friend. This is a great solution for custom metal signs with long-term durability for both indoor and outdoor applications. The Czech Republic has allowed "registration signs on request" since January. You have absolutely no good logic behind your argument, no one is arguing that older people aren't human, the issue is safety and no one is saying old people.

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Is this obsessive and creepy? Or normal? White Moose Cafe, Dublin Picture: No Assholes Sign - Check out TripAdvisor members' candid photos and videos of White Moose Cafe. 15 Aug Clever asshole. View "12 People Who Took Their License Plate Game To The Next Level" and more funny posts on CollegeHumor..


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At once, a Texas driver is being told to calligraphy control over his license print, or it will be suspended. The state has deemed the plate wrong. There are more than , personalized license plates available in Texas. The problem is the circumstances says this puzzling alpha-numeric jumble is no longer acceptable.

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  • This Pin was discovered by Susan McKinney. Discover (and save!) your own Pins on Pinterest. Cool license plate. I think a lot of people need this one! But they never. Funny License PlatesLicence PlatesFunny Number PlatesPersonalized PlatesCustom PlatesVanity PlateCar TagsFunny SignsCar Stuff.
  • Keep Your Causes Off Your License Plates, Assholes

Vehicle makes and models and license plates will be mentioned and drivers and passengers described whenever possible. and allow me through, I start to go ahead, except that second car - a Chevy Impala bearing NY registration AMD- - races through the stop sign practically glued to the rear bumper of the first car. 13 Dec Keep Your Causes Off Your License Plates, Assholes. K And, more than likely, your friends didn't really know what they were cheering or castigating, because "issues" license plates are a ridiculous conceptual mess. You have This is why PSAs exist and you can see signs telling you not to litter. A vanity plate or personalized plate (United States); prestige plate, private number plate, cherished plate or personalised registration (United Kingdom); personalised plate custom plate (Australia and New Zealand) or request plate ( Czech Republic) is a special type of vehicle registration plate on an automobile or other.

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