DESCRIPTION: Loneliness is a complex problem of epidemic proportions, affecting millions from all walks of life. Verified by Psychology Today.Drabnail777: Can you please do You know you're dating a Southern (American woman when.
Lola Cullen: That guy that yells WHAT THE FUCK at 1makes me laugh every time! OMFG
Pete Tsolis: Man, valentine come and I move to Oklahoma state which is very boring state and the community there is kinda small and the worst is, you can't approach only woman you know and I don't know anyone there so I sign up in naughty website f me right
Ceren Bilgic: Do about Georgia. Not the states though,the country
Lorenas Vids: Lol; looks like you forgot to bump into me.
Luchi Zelaya: In today's society women don't cook, unless she chooses to, sorry fellows, men, guys, boys etc but this is uninformative. Not all women (Mexican nationals are gonna wake up at 5 a.m. and make flour tortillas, maybe in my grandmother's generation. Men have to realize that women are not like this and I don't understand why men always have to pay, that's just unfair.
Skeleton: I am french and i always pay, is normal for us.
Joanna Paras: Das ist alles echt richtig!
Mr. Jesus: Why did Scotland have their own individual flag up but England not?
Kiko Mundasos: Apparently asia isnt part of the world i guess
Chi-Wai Kou: Then again, most women say the men in their specific country are awful, and foreign men are perfect.
ILua Phantom: You're not to think you are anything special.
Haa See: How charming! (except attending other womens needs part)
Tom Ngo: Hhahaha. Vyx vaporub the cure to all sickness! hahhaha. Filipino parents also do this hahha
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The real nice guys are the ones that don't even realise that this is the reason for their infinite single-dom. Have a think and work this one out: are you the gentleman holding a door open so a girl can walk through the entrance to a restaurant? Or are you the nice guy who throws himself against the door and lets the girl. 14 Dec I think it's important to constantly remind women how nice I am. How else will they be able to figure out that I am such a good, kind man? I volunteer once a month, and bring a professional photographer along so I can get high-quality Tinder photos of me ladling soup or whatever. Whenever I see an elderly. 1 Apr One of the more tedious ideas in dating advice is the idea of “nice guys finish last ” and “girls love bad boys”. It's a truism The idea of assholes and bad boys underpins the PUA and Red Pill philosophies of learning how to be an asshole so women will love you. . Being nice doesn't mean you finish last.
Loneliness is a complex problem of epidemic proportions, affecting millions from all walks of life. Verified by Psychology Today. Welcome back to The Attraction Doctor. The messages of taking personal responsibility to become a valuable mate, learning to make others trade fairly, and finding internal validation, all seemed to make a connection with readers. However, I had a few readers who still had some questions.
Some of the questions came from a group of people I call Nice Guys and Gals. These people do everything for others. They do everything they believe they are "supposed" to do for their lovers. Yet, time and time again, their partners abandon them, overlook them, mistreat them, and generally fail to love them back. Nice guys and gals are completely confused by these outcomes. They cannot understand how they can, at least theoretically, do everything right—yet have the situation turn out so wrong.
They cannot understand why their good behavior doesn't lead to love and respect. After all, we're all "told" that is how it is supposed to work.
Bring someone flowers or cook them dinner and love you forever Well, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I was a nice guy. I was that clueless guy, doing everything I was told to do by society and romantic Why Are Girls So Mean To Nice Guys, and it was not working.
I gave lovers everything and got no gratitude for it. I did the "good" boyfriend and husband thing I learned firsthand that such nice behavior didn't work. The first step to seeing this clearly is to temporarily put aside any frustration and bitterness. If you are reading this, you probably have a story of your own to tell. You may have been treated badly.
You might have been picked over for someone who seemed clearly inferior to you. Why would "your guy" go for that high-maintenance, promiscuous woman?
Why would "your gal" dump you for that unemployed felon? Well, there is a reason. Your partner or their gender is not stupid. The world has not turned upside down. There are simple influence principles at work here. These principles make the "inferior people" look valuable and you not-so-much. Let us take a look at them further and see why nice people finish last When we do nice things for others, we invest in them and the relationship. Those investments of time, effort, and money tend to build up over time.
Those investments also make us feel that our date or mate is valuable, that we love them, and we are committed to that relationship. This is called the principle of "sunk costs". Doing favors for others and treating them well, leads us to value and love them.
However, the reverse is not true. The receiver of good treatment does not always feel love for the giver. In fact, they may feel manipulated, burdened, or just generally ungrateful. Love cannot be bought or earned.
Given that, whoever is doing the favors will fall in love. But, whoever is receiving the favors probably will not fall in love. The person that invests feels love. The person receiving the investment may not feel anything. Nice folks are on the losing end of this deal. They do all of the "doing". They are the ones waiting on their partner, doing good deeds, buying gifts, paying for meals, etc. As a result, they have
Why Are Girls So Mean To Nice Guys lot of love sunk costs for their date or mate.
But, their partner has not invested. They have not given a thing. So, they are not at all in love or committed. Contrast this with the demanding bad boy or diva They are always making demands and requests of a partner. They require being pampered, waited on, and appeased. So, their partners have a ton of sunk costs. Thus, their partners fall in love with them and feel committed. Moral of the story—don't be "nice" and do everything. Make your partner invest in you and the relationship too.
If they refuse to invest in the relationship, however, then they may never love you back. People learn from the consequences of their behavior. Why Are Girls So Mean To Nice Guys they perform a behavior and are rewarded, they tend to do the same thing again. In contrast, when they perform a behavior and are punished, they tend to shy away from that behavior in the future.
Well, nice people tend to treat their dates and mates very well. EVEN, when they don't deserve it. No matter how a partner is treating them, the nice person will continue to treat them well. The nice person often "thinks" that such good treatment will one day be recognized. That it will snap the partner out of their bad behavior.
Turn the other cheek and all that. In essence, by being nice
Why Are Girls So Mean To Nice Guys the time, they are rewarding their partner for bad behavior. If you cook him dinner on the nights he disrespects you, then you have rewarded and encouraged that behavior to continue. If you take her out on the nights she is grumpy nagging, you have ensured that she will do it again. Not-so-nice people have better boundaries.
They only reward partners when they earn those rewards. They also ignore partners when they are disrespectful or bad. This teaches dates or mates what they will and will not tolerate. It lets them know what is expected of them.
As a result,
Why Are Girls So Mean To Nice Guys people get walked all over. By being nice all the time, they actually encourage others to treat them badly. They reward those who mistreat them and make the behavior more likely in the future.
If they were selective in their rewards—and occasionally withholding—they would receive better treatment in return. They would also be more respected by others. We all have mental shortcuts that help in our decision-making. One of these shortcuts is the rule of scarcity. Generally, we believe whatever is scarce, or requires work to obtain, is valuable. Whatever is easy to get, or common, is probably cheap.
While this is not always true, it is true enough of the time that it becomes a common, unconscious assumption. It is applied to everything Unfortunately for nice people, they are anything but scarce. They are eager to please. They are always agreeable to dropping their life and rushing over to their date or mate. They make time, dote, acquiesce, and try to be as convenient and easy as possible. Their hope is that this behavior will lead to gratitude and respect.
By making themselves available to a partner and removing inconveniences, they hope to make love easier. Instead, however, they come off as needy, get taken for granted, and become overlooked. In other words, they are the opposite of scarce and hard to earn. So, all of the available behavior actually makes them Why Are Girls So Mean To Nice Guys low value and worthless.
The bad boy or diva, in contrast, is always "hard to get". They are never available, always cancelling plans, and make lovers do things their way.
Something like that users of social networking for Dating:
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What do u call your partner?14 Dec I think it's important to constantly remind women how nice I am. How else will they be able to figure out that I am such a good, kind man? I volunteer once a month, and bring a professional photographer along so I can get high-quality Tinder photos of me ladling soup or whatever. Whenever I see an elderly. Self Declared Nice Guy: Helps you with your problems and provides an amazing friendship, then gets angry when you don't jump in bed with him for it. Girls are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out. Being nice to her doesn't make her obligated to develop sexual and/or romantic interest in you..
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Popular questions from our blog readers:
- Interested? Or is she just being nice?
- Why do I attract men in relationships???
- Were we more than friends? I'm tired wondering
- I feel like I'm running out of time?
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I plus always make friend with women as well as the unique ambition of unhurriedly manipulating the closeness hooked on a affectionate connection. Did I acknowledge to I am a intricate man? Fix they not twig how warm I am? Did I not carry on in the vein of a fresh helper as a replacement for by the side of small amount a hardly any minutes?
At what time unified of my woman sisters newly went all through a raw divide up in addition to obligatory near slang on the road to a celebrity, I was close by.
- People know them to be so by their behavior.
- Self Declared Nice Guy: Helps you with your problems and provides an amazing friendship, then gets angry when you don't jump in bed with him for it. Girls are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out. Being nice to her doesn't make her obligated to develop sexual and/or romantic interest in you.
- Etiquette — 2 days.
- The Real Reason Why Women Reject Nice Guys And Go For The Asshole | Thought Catalog
- The idea that if you are nice to a girl, compliment her, tell her how amazing she is everyday, and really just genuinely show her how incredible she is everyday, that you will never get her to love you. Sadly, this is more than true in most cases. You know when you love this girl, and you're always there for her no matter what. If it weren't for the stories and letters, I'd have to wonder; I myself prefer good, true , honest, loving, kind, faithful men—most especially the nice guy I married. I'd choose him again and again. And yet we all know women who can't seem to get excited about anyone but a jerk. So yes, it's true: Some women want jerks.
- Why Nice Guys and Gals Finish Last in Love | Psychology Today
- When used negatively, a nice guy implies a male who is unassertive, does not express his true feelings and, in the context of dating in which the term is often used  , dishonestly uses acts of ostensible friendship and basic social etiquette with the unstated aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship.
Why being nice doesn't lead to love.
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The real nice guys are the ones that don't even realise that this is the reason for their infinite single-dom. Have a think and work this one out: are you the gentleman holding a door open so a girl can walk through the entrance to a restaurant? Or are you the nice guy who throws himself against the door and lets the girl. 1 Apr One of the more tedious ideas in dating advice is the idea of “nice guys finish last ” and “girls love bad boys”. It's a truism The idea of assholes and bad boys underpins the PUA and Red Pill philosophies of learning how to be an asshole so women will love you. . Being nice doesn't mean you finish last. The "nice guys finish last" view is that there is a discrepancy between women's stated preferences and their actual choices in men. In other words, women say that they want nice guys, but really go for men who are "jerks" or "bad boys" in the end. Stephan Desrochers claims, in a article in the journal Sex Roles, that.